Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

Read this book the other week. And yes I’ve seen the movie about 20 times but this scene in the book was SO much funnier:

“Jed is taking us both to the cafè for a magic mushroom omelette!...Shazzer is not speaking to me. After the magic mushroom omelette, nothing happened initially but on the way back to our hut everything suddenly began to seem most amusing and I unfortunately began to giggle uncontrollably. Shaz, however, did not seem to be joining in the joke. On arrival at our latest hut I decided to put hammock up outside, using thin string, which broke, so that I landed on the sand. This seemed at the time so very amusing I immediately wanted to do it again and, Shazzer is claiming, reperformed amusing hammock crash repeatedly for forty-five minutes finding the amusingness undiminished by repetition. Jed had been in the hut with Shaz but gone off for a swim so I decided to go in to find her. She was lying on the bed moaning, “I’m ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly.” Alarmed by Shazzer’s contrasting-with-own-mood self-loathing, hurried towards her to cheer her up. On the way, however, caught sight of self in the mirror and had never seen a more beautiful or entrancing creature in entire life. Shaz alleges that for the next forty minutes kept attempting to rouse her spirits but I became repeatedly distracted by the sight of self in the mirror, striking poses and beseeching Shaz to admire me. Shaz, meanwhile was suffering total trauma believing her entire face and body to be grievously deformed. I went off to get her some food and returned giggling with a banana and Bloody Mary, telling her the waitress in the restaurant had a lampshade on her head, then returned besottedly to my station at the mirror. Following this, Shaz claims, I lay on the beach for two and a half hours staring up at army hat and waving fingers softly in the air while she contemplated suicide.” – Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason by Helen Fielding